Cabaret Songs: Au revoir, Maria Callas
text by Bill Richardson

When Death decides it's come your turn,
You have to opt for earth or urn.
Maria Callas when she died
Said "no" to buried, "yes" to fried.

No casket grand with brassy hinge,
It's over when the singer's singed.
Her loved ones came to pick her up,
They took Maria, half a cup,
And housed her feeling rather glum
Within the Columbarium.

Soon, student pranksters on a spree,
Connived to set Maria free.
They planned the heist, 
They named the day,
They stole the ash, 
Then stole away.

A gendarme, acting on a tip,
Restored the cinders to the crypt.
Maria's kin, inclined to nix all future sophomoric tricks,
Yanked the rug from  young collegians
Scattered her on the Aegean. 

In her blue, refulgent cloister
La Divina feeds the oysters. 
Free from ballast,
Safe from malice,
Au revoir, Maria Callas.

copyright Bill Richardson, 2001, used by permission of the author